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Probate has a way of bringing long-standing family tensions to the surface. The loss of a parent is emotional enough, and when legal and financial matters come into play, things can get messy fast. Siblings may find themselves disagreeing over what’s fair, who should be in charge, or how to interpret a parent’s final wishes. At LaFountain & Wollman P.C., we’ve seen how probate can either bring families together—or drive them apart. In this post, we’ll share practical ways to help avoid sibling disputes and keep the process moving forward.
Understand the Source of Conflict
Most sibling conflicts during probate don’t come out of nowhere. They usually are rooted in years of family dynamics and misunderstandings. In some cases, one sibling feels like they carried more weight caring for a parent. In others, there’s resentment over financial decisions or personal items with sentimental value.
We’ve found that these disagreements often stem from:
- Poor communication
- Unclear expectations
- Perceived favoritism in the will
- Emotional reactions tied to grief
Even when the dollar amounts involved are small, the emotions behind them can run high. A parent’s passing can re-open old wounds or create new ones if the probate process isn’t handled carefully. That’s why early, honest communication is key.
Keep the Will and Estate Plan Clear
A well-prepared estate plan can do a lot to prevent disputes. When a will clearly lays out who gets what—and why—there’s less room for interpretation or argument. That doesn’t mean every sibling will love the outcome, but at least they’ll understand it.
Problems often arise when:
- The will is vague or outdated
- A beneficiary is left out entirely
- Items with sentimental value aren’t addressed
We help families interpret unclear documents and, when needed, take steps through probate court to get clarity. It’s always better to deal with uncertainty early before it turns into a full-blown dispute.
Choose the Right Personal Representative
In Massachusetts, the person responsible for managing the estate is called the personal representative. This role comes with real responsibilities—handling paperwork, communicating with the court, and distributing assets.
Choosing the right person matters. Sometimes, it’s one sibling, sometimes it’s someone neutral. Either way, it helps if the person:
- Is organized and responsible
- Can communicate well
- Is viewed as fair by the rest of the family
We’ve seen that when one sibling is appointed but doesn’t keep others in the loop, frustration builds quickly. On the flip side, a personal representative who shares regular updates and involves the family in key steps can help maintain trust. We work closely with personal representatives to make sure they understand their role and avoid mistakes that could cause tension.
Communicate Early and Often
One of the best ways to prevent family fights is to talk—and keep talking. Probate involves a lot of steps, and silence often leads people to assume the worst. That’s why we always encourage open and honest communication from the start.
A few helpful tips:
- Share a timeline of what to expect during probate
- Explain any delays or required steps
- Be transparent about what’s in the will and why
Sometimes, it helps to bring in a neutral third party. We often act in that role, explaining the legal process in plain terms so everyone’s on the same page. When siblings hear the same message at the same time, it goes a long way toward reducing suspicion or frustration.
Mediation May Be Better Than Court
If a disagreement does come up, going straight to court isn’t the only option. Mediation allows family members to talk through the issue with the help of a neutral professional. It’s often faster, less expensive, and less stressful than litigation.
In many cases, we’ve helped families resolve disputes privately without ever stepping into a courtroom. Mediation can give everyone a voice and lead to a solution that works for all sides—without making the situation worse.
Supporting Families Through Probate
Probate is never easy, but it doesn’t have to damage your family relationships. With the right approach, it’s possible to honor your loved one’s wishes while maintaining peace among siblings.
At LaFountain & Wollman P.C., we help families across Massachusetts through the probate process with care and professionalism. Whether you need guidance on managing an estate, dealing with a dispute, or simply want to avoid conflict, we’re here to help. Give us a call if you’re starting probate and want to protect both your family’s future—and your peace of mind.